Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
They took my balls.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
