I must be too annoying 4 u.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
