Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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