is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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