I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
