Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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