I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
