New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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