just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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