then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
