did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Need sex. Gaining weight.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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