I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
