I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
