she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize