My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
