I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
