You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
