There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize