member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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