it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
