I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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