At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Buhtt sex?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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