Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
