I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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