Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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