Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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