there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
