my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize