thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
