Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
