Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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