True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
and eventually we just all took our pants off
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
