I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You did what with his pubic hair?
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