I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
