I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
