fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
