I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
