did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
