So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
