Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize