I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
