is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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