There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize