Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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