Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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