I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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