Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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