her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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