no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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