Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
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I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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