let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think my moral compass just broke
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
