I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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