was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
