You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ā¯¤ā¯¤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
