We're facebook friends in real life
Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
