Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
