you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
