The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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