Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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