you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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