can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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