So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
