How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We need to get me chipped asap
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
